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It was absolutely amazing to finally see the Patriots KILL the Broncos in person. FINALLY Having sat thru such debacles as the Shannon Sharpe "Mr. President, call in the National Guard, the Patriots are getting slaughtered" game, it was a long time coming.
Denver sucks and has a terrible D-Line, Cassell still sucks too. But it was heartening to see the Patriots playing with some fire and some swagger. The beat the Broncos down.

***

I wish I had a picture, but inside one of the urinals was stuffed a "McCain apos;08" t-shirt. It is Massachusetts after all...
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My mother got the money to help me move. Iapos;m starting to feel a bit panicked and infinitely worrisome. Iapos;ve been slacking off on the drinking thing a bit lately. Trying to get my shit together and sell some of my unneeded possessions. I have a two court dates coming up and Iapos;m worried that they will play a role in keeping me here longer than I had hoped. Iapos;m really terrified of going to school again. I havenapos;t been in school for nearly five years. I ate pills the first two years and slept the last year and a half. I canapos;t help but feel that I am simply not fit for any organized learning environment. I only seem to function on my own schedule.
Lately, Iapos;ve been reading James Tateapos;s book of poems, The Ghost Soldiers. I believe Iapos;ve fallen in love with the bastard. Iapos;ve also been writing incessantly. What does that mean? Not much, I suppose. I have about 7 pages on a short story that Iapos;ve been working on forever and four other stories that have beginnings and endings but only little tidbits in the middle. Not only that, but I find it to be a daunting task to come back and cut away the excess fat from my drunken ramblings. Often the things I write just rants about people; how they will recite the same stories to multiple listeners verbatim if only to hear themselves talk and stuff like that. Inserting these rants or prose into legitimate stories becomes difficult. It doesnapos;t really matter. Just a nice hobby to pass the time and a way to fully express my thoughts, as disjointed as they become on paper.
Also, I saw my mom wake Gustavo the other day by rubbing his penis. How does this make me feel? One word: awkward.
Adam is sitting across from me crying. His normally pallid complexion is red and he wonapos;t look at me. Haley is dating someone in Austin. I really feel for him.
With all of this change getting closer and closer, Iapos;m beginning to doubt my ability to do anything. Learning, loving or appreciating another person, finishing school, getting a job, making friends, etc... What is worse is that I feel those around doubt my abilities also. Perhaps they are right?

My day is coming.

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I used to have a livejournal back when�I was a freshman in highschool. Since then I have had 3 other blogs and none of them worked out. The next day I always think about what I�wrote and I think itapos;s stupid. Plus no one was reading them. I�came back because I need support. I think that if I get my thoughts out on here, maybe someone will listen, maybe someone will have answers. I�donapos;t know.

I have gotten better but I�am still not cured.

Yuck, first entries are gross.
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Second and Third Grade Detectives,

We had a great day using our decoding skills to uncover a secret message in our chocolate caper. Next week, we will discover who stole the secret recipe from Mr. Van Feisty.

A majority of our time this week was used for writing our rough drafts. Did you use your time wisely in class? Please bring your final draft (typed) next week to class. Follow the outline and checklist that you received in class to help you organize your writing. Be sure you include a title and your name on your paper.

Homework: Bring your final copy of your world mystery to class. We will discuss in class how we will present and share our world mystery information.

Weekly Question: Write down something fascinating that you learned about your world mystery.

*** We will have a special guest speaker this coming Monday, October 20th. Third graders will join us Monday morning at 8:30 in the trailer. Third grade, you will have a normal Target day on Tuesday.

Sincerely,

Head Detective Covington

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Either that or the heater being set to 85 bothered her.� Didn#39;t affect me much because I was cold when I got home.� Also, I absolve myself of any blame because I don#39;t adjust thermostats.� Most people don#39;t agree with my choices so I let them handle how hot or cold the place will be.� Despite my other efforts, I apparently slipped up in the final hour or so I was home and something on somewhere that was eating up energy.� I suppose it would be too much to assume that for the part of the evening when I was home alone, I displayed an almost paranoiac obsession with trying to conserve energy.� Whatever.

All that aside, I finally get to pick up my paychecks� The first one should have been in two days ago, but the person in charge doesn#39;t seem to care much for uniformity of payment, although he sure is adamant about everything else following a regulation or other.� Due to his...whatever you want to call it, I now get to pick up both of my paychecks this morning before going in to work, which means I can finally do some real grocery shopping.� Aside from that and gas, I#39;m fine for the rest of the month, so I#39;ll just hold on to the rest.� I do still need to book a hotel though.� I guess I#39;ll add that to my list of things to do.� Mapquest or Google should have a list of places in the area that I can go to.

For goodness sake, Friday means so much to me right now.� Only four more days of work and I can finally take a break.� I#39;m trying to finish the myriad applications I have so that I don#39;t have to do anything at all that day that might cause unnecessary stress.� Here#39;s to hoping.� I have letters to mail off to campus, papers to fill out, resumes to update, and probably a list of other things to do.� After that, I have all the many projects I myself began that need to start being finished instead of procrastinating for no reason.

Yesterday I met a Japanese girl and an EAS major from the university.� They both came in to the tea house while I was working and we talked for a bit.� We also got complimented for making high quality espresso drinks.� Take that Starbucks.� Personally I don#39;t drink coffee or espresso, but it#39;s good to know we are trumping the corporate competition.� Not that it#39;s too hard.� So long as we remain a relatively small business in comparison, we can produce a better drink as well as a better experience than the corporate leaders who are just churning out a product as effectively as they can.� It#39;s not that we aren#39;t doing the same thing, but we have a slightly different order or priorities, or something.

Tomorrow is going to be hell, and I don#39;t know about Sunday either.� I think I may be passing on the wine party because I need rest.� Especially if I have to go straight out of one job and directly to another the day before, only to wake up and go back to work that day after.� At the same time, next weekend I#39;ll be free to do as I please, so it#39;s all good I guess.

So don#39;t forget:� if you talk to someone as though they are a child, they might start acting like a child.� Just to piss you off.� Or they could be mature about it and you would never know.� Could go both ways I suppose.

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My life has changed so drastically since I last wrote in this journal. No one ever does any more, and no one I still talk to will ever read this. Thats not supposed to be the point right? Well, lets see. Im married to my high school boyfriend, something that only surprises me (not even him), my beautiful daughter Anya is 19 months, and I am due to have number 2 in April. I continue to plug away slowly at my online education. We have a nice little 2 bedroom apartment. Justins a Marine.
Im lonely. I guess when you look at your life and realize you no longer have any friends, it puts things in perspective. Its me, not them. I am not a good friend, or a good person. I dont deserve happiness. Sure there is people I talk to, but the sting of no one truly being there kills. Iapos;m selfish. I should be happy. I have a good husband, a wonderful daughter. Its never enough.
The doctors say its my thyroid, that from the time I was 13 or so, I have been sick. It makes me moody, it makes me thin and frail, and miserable. Its the hormones, not you. The pills will make you better.
I wasted forever, because of a disease?
It doesnapos;t change ANYTHING...Its to late.
Maybe thats why I feel so alone.

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My name is Aaliyah Iapos;m 20 years old.
Iapos;m �East Indian (no kidding )��married to a wonderful man named Tyler.
I wish I could listen to music get paid for it... Itapos;s seriously all I ever want to do.
Iapos;m�a dancer have been since I was 3... Itapos;s the most relaxing soothing thing in the world.

I love babies, coffee, taking long drives, travelling, laughing meeting new people. I could meet a new person talk to them for hours on end, just exchanging life stories experiences.

Iapos;m 5`8" , my favorite colour is purple, i have 9 brothers �sisters if I could - would have 90 kids.

Iapos;m relaxed, laid back, funny, wild, out-going adventourous. :)

MSN = girlloco@hotmail.com

Addddd away, interesting people.



Aaliyah
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