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My life has changed so drastically since I last wrote in this journal. No one ever does any more, and no one I still talk to will ever read this. Thats not supposed to be the point right? Well, lets see. Im married to my high school boyfriend, something that only surprises me (not even him), my beautiful daughter Anya is 19 months, and I am due to have number 2 in April. I continue to plug away slowly at my online education. We have a nice little 2 bedroom apartment. Justins a Marine.
Im lonely. I guess when you look at your life and realize you no longer have any friends, it puts things in perspective. Its me, not them. I am not a good friend, or a good person. I dont deserve happiness. Sure there is people I talk to, but the sting of no one truly being there kills. Iapos;m selfish. I should be happy. I have a good husband, a wonderful daughter. Its never enough.
The doctors say its my thyroid, that from the time I was 13 or so, I have been sick. It makes me moody, it makes me thin and frail, and miserable. Its the hormones, not you. The pills will make you better.
I wasted forever, because of a disease?
It doesnapos;t change ANYTHING...Its to late.
Maybe thats why I feel so alone.

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